Friday, August 25, 2006

And another. . .

From Charisse:

"it's funny b/c it's coming from lauren. But I can't laugh at them - they're right about Justin/Timbaland, you know..."

Okay, I'm convinced. I will like Timbaland songs and if they happen to be sung by nelly furtado or JT that's AOK. but i still don't think i want them on my ipod. . ..

It seems as if Andrew has a kindred spirit. . . .

From Lauren, my co-worker and EX-friend. . (j/k)

"i have to tell you...after coming to the awful conclusion that i actually really like both 'promiscuous' by nelly and 'sexyback' by justin timberlake, i think andrew may be onto something w/ the whole timbaland thing. i hate to like such mainstream and popular songs, but alas, i really do like them. "

I have this in writing people.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I got Free Kanye tickets!!!!!!!!!!

wahooooo!! Shout out to Charisse who struggles with incompetent clients at American Express who pronounce Kanye, 'Kayne'. However, these lovely people [can you hear the sarcasm through your computer?] managed to give us forwarning that AmEx was giving away free Tix to a Kanye concert next tuesday!!! Nokia Theater here we come!!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Kfed Lose Control Teen Choice Awards

I'm not much impressed, however, I appreciate that KFed shaved his head and can play piano. I must admit I was a bit confused by the little dancer guy. . . poor Britney, Poooor Britney.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Final Farewell from Jean--My FAVORITE person

The note below was taken verbatim from an e-mail to Hillary and the other managers of the softball league. I think it gives you an idea of the kind of incompetence with which we are dealing.

HI Managers

I would like to take the time the THANK ALL of you Manager for a wonderful 2006 softball season.

I know at times itsssss beennnn tryingggg but we made it TOGETHER.

The play-off are near end. But the BEST is yet to come.. Final are next week and the week ofter. So try to come to the games and ruttttt each other onnnnnnnn.

Also fall ball will start in a few weeks. So sign up know, and let play ball.

Over the winter month I would like some of you to HELP me in developing the league. So if ANYONE would like to help. Please Contac me at (718) 544-7436 of email me.

There is a lot of work ing running a league, but with your help, we can make it better.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I'm so technical [errrr geeky!]

Couple New things added to the blog:

-Technorati Search [I'm still unsure how to do the tags, but that's a project for another day]
-An RSS feed. . .Now you can subscribe to my blog!! I know you want to.

On another note, I'm going to see Talladega Nights tonight and possibly Little Miss Sunshine. I'll let you know how they are tomorrow. Until Them, Happy Blogging! :-)

Thursday, August 10, 2006

New York Women's Sports League Story

I got the picture below from the softball league's website: I have no idea who the people to the left are. . .but I think it does the job of giving you an idea of what Jean looks like. . .[PS I know none of them are her, because she rolls around in an electric wheel chair. . .and then tries to lecture us on making sure we train for softball season because she doesn't want to listen to complaints that we're sore. . .there's like a million things wrong with that sentence.]

The passage [errr novel-like story] below is taken from our HORIBBLE softball league's website: Under no circumstances use this website to sign up for the league [I know you want to!]. Anywho, presumably this lovely ditty was written by Jean the Genious. My comments are in smaller font in parentheses. . .as if you wont' be able tell. Enjoy.

"In 1975, Phyllis M, Ammirati Started the New York Women’s Sports League. It was the first of its kind in Manhattan that allowed women to play organized softball. At the time, it was very difficult for women to do so. [ever heard of a complex sentence????]

Throughout the development of the New York Women’s Sports League, Phyllis had the vision to see that women had a very difficult time coming out for softball, or any other sports. She gave them the guidance they needed and the respect they deserved. For many years, Phyllis had to fight the stereotype that "Women belonged in the home and not on a softball diamond". [Hasn't she ever heard of league of their own? She's not the first to fight this stereotype. . .maybe she should have just required the girls to wear skirts. . .and had Madonna play]

Her fierce determination [fierce like Tyra!] and quiet perseverance while working with the Parks Department and the community [what a winner. . .] finally gained ground against all opposed her ideals. She convinced them that women were here to stay [where were they going?] and that they would make valuable contributions to all they encountered.

Phyllis’ visions for women extended far beyond the game of softball. She saw that through softball, or any endeavor, women can develop a sense of independence and camaraderie among themselves, family members, friends, employers and even with the fans who just come to the game to root for the underdog. [That sentence was a little too complex. . .]It has become a chance for everyone to change for the better, a chance for people to grow and struggle with his or her dreams and attain new levels of awareness. [And did you know that softball can save the world???? Next Stop: the Middle East]

It was not all fun and games. When Phyllis obtained use of Coleman Oval in 1980, there was much hard work to be done. The field was in disrepair, so she banded the women together and started a ground crew to develop and maintain the field. She gave notice to the teams that they must clean up after themselves [You give that notice!!!]. She told everyone to " Leave the field in better condition than you fine it, [no need for a comment there. . .] so the next player on the field will see our example and do the same". On February 4, 1991, Phyllis’ sudden death was a shock to us all [Moment of Silence, please. . .]. Due to her strong leadership and gentle guidance, the league has grown and prospered through the years. Today her beliefs and strong ideals still hold true. Phyllis’ work goes on because of the solid foundation upon which she built the league, and us, the players and managers in the league." [Thank God for Phyllis, without her we wouldn't have had such a wonderful Softball Season . .waaaiiiittttt]

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Millward Brown Loses by Out-scoring the opponent 25-8!!

I must have jinxed my team. . . The e-mail below is from our team manager who has the unfortunate job having to converse with Jean. I think it's self-explantory and this is proof how Jean has an IQ of a baby's pinky finger.

Dearest Happy Hour,

Lindsay is going to have to revise her blog because contrary to popular belief, we did not win last night's game. While there may have been two teams, an ump, and half a field, Jean just called to inform me that because we had three forfeits during the season, we are kicked out of the league. Therefore, although she failed to mention this to either team or the umpire, last night's game never should have happened and we lose. Because Jean is a lover and not a fighter, she wanted to make it up to us by scheduling a double-header scrimmage on Saturday, but by that point, there was some yelling going on on my end (Toni can attest to this) and Jean and I parted ways forever on less than favorable terms. I would like to thank all of you for your enthusiastic participation in the worst softball league in the world, and I would also like to congratulate you for going out in style. Anyone can lose, but it losing a game while scoring 24 runs to the other team's 8 takes true talent that I think speaks to us both as a team and a company.



P.S. Please direct all complaints to Jean at 718.544.7436. I encourage you to use this number not just for softball issues. If you want to talk about suppressed childhood memories, call this number. If you're into missionary work, call this number. If you meet someone at a bar and they ask for your number, use this one. If you know any telemarketers, make sure they have it. You get the point

Millward Brownies Win 25-8!!!!!!

No, that isn't the score of my company Football team--it's the score of our first SOFTBALL playoff game which we played last night.

Let's set the scene. Our team hasn't had the best of luck this year. We are in the worst corporate league in the city, hands down, which is run by a woman with the IQ of a baby just out of the womb. Consistently we rush to our game to find that we don't have a team to play, or we're 3 minutes late and have to "double forfeit" [don't ask--I didn't think it was possible either]. So, basically, we had low expectations for the game last night, but were stupidly hopeful that we'd actually get to play.

In typical MB softball league fashion, we took to the field rearing to go. However, there was no field to be had. Unlike our last 3 games, we could field a full team, we had a team to play [yay!], and an umpire to make sure we played fair in the sandbox. However, some other team was on OUR field [I don't' know why we were surprised. see: paragraph above where I mention the organizer has the IQ of fetus, who we will call without protecting her real name--Jean] With a lot of reluctance, swearing, and death-threat phone calls to Jean we ventured two fields over to a baseball diamond which looked seemingly suitable, however had no right field. And I'm not kidding. There was the dirt of the in-field, then a fence, then the east river [tasty]. But we're Millward Brownies and don't think we're going to let that stop us. No No NO obstacle was going to get in the way of us playing that game--Not lack of a field, Not lack of a right-field, Not lack of a left shoe [that was me. . .I'm awesome, thanks to Hillary for letting me borrow her shoes!].

7:00 rolled around and we were feeling the pressure to start the game, since darkness was sneaking up on us. No warm-up, we had to hit the field. The other team looked professional--the girls were wearing league-of-their-own-type skirts and have official looking softball socks [it doesn't take much to impress us]. Vicki started singing "We're the members of the All American Team. . ." hoping to pysch them out and get us going.

Let's play ball. . . I'll fast forward you through the high-lights:

-Our team had an incredible hitting streak . Everyone.hit.awesome. Key plays: Sean hitting a *Grand Slam* in the 5th inning [I just made that up, I have no idea which inning it was]. Sean hitting *Michelle* when she was on third base, a stinging line drive straight to her hip.

-Our crazy ump who wouldn't let us have an "odd number" of players. Who also took a phone call while I was up to bat, with a count of 1-0. He had blue tooth so it looked like he was talking to an imaginary player, or peeing in the other team's dug-out. I found both options amusing.

-Our ump again who, in addition to being crazy, can't add. In the 5th [??] inning we scored 7 runs. Hillary, being the math whiz she is, was talking to the ump and said "Great, we had 17, we scored 7, now we have 24 runs." Ump gives her a blank look: "No, you have 25." Hillary repeats her amazing equation [she went to college!]. Ump gives same blank look and same answer [I'm guessing he didn't got to college]. Hillary responds resisting the urge to argue reason, logic, or mathematical correctnes says "Sure, I'll take your score." So it looks like our imaginary player scored the 25th run. . .probably the same one the ump was talking to in the other team's dug-out.

Special thanks to our non-MB players who came out to save the day: Steve, Andrew, and Yuli [I think she only comes because we like to call her adorabbblllleeeeeee] And Erica, Photographer Extraordinaire.

Stay tuned for next week's game. . .We don't know when it is, we can't guarantee a field or a team, but we will definitely curse Jean and drink some beer. Because we are the Millward Brown Happy Hour.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Spelling Bee is F-U-N-N-Y

So I ventured to Broadway last night to see the 25th Annual Putnum County Spelling Bee: The musical. Overall, an extremely enjoyable show that I highly reccommend. The music is catchy, but quasi-forgettable, but the performances are HILARIOUS, with wit and high energy. As a side-note, I find it very entertaining how we [as a nation of course, because I can totally speak for the 256 million americans out there] are obsessed with making fun of the poor kids in spelling bees. If you haven't seen it yet, watch Spellbound--A brilliant documentary about kids in the spelling bee and their insane over-bearing parents [way worse than soccer moms if you ask me]. I just don't know who these kids exist.

Anywho, back to the musical. The Circle in the Square theater where the Spelling bee takes place is a really neat venue [famous alumni of the circle in the square theater school include, but are not limited to: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Molly Shannon, and Matthew Lillard --from Scream, come on you know him! "I'll be right back. . .]. The theater is small and intimate and there's not a bad seat in the house. Also, they used audience members to be in the Bee and made fun of them, which is always a plus. My co-worker Hillary's friend from high school [Josh Gad] is a main character [he plays William Barfee --prounounced Barf-AY] and he was very good [he has a Magic Foot, that dances around and helps him spell]. He actually wins the bee [sorry if I ruined the suspense for you all]. My other favorite guy is named Brett Foa and was in Avenue Q before joining the Spelling Bee cast. He's hilarious--he plays this mildly retarded boy who wears a helmet for protection and 'makes his own clothes' [he basically wears clothes one step up from a bum]. He's sooo funny and so so dynamic. I think I'm going to start the unofficial Brett Foa fan club.

I also noticed on the spelling bee website that it's in a lot of other cities like Chicago and San Fran now so if it's in a theater near you, or if you're in NYC go see it!!!

p.s. if you switch the first two vowels around in Olive it spells I Love. adorable much?

Thursday, August 03, 2006

LC is no longer my best friend

For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past couple months, The Hills is a continuation of the popular Faux-reality show Laguna Beach on MTV. It follows my former best friend LC around as she juggles fashion school, a teen vogue internship, a bitch roomie, and a douche-bag boyfriend in Sunny Los Angeles [the city where they say dreams come true!]. LC [Lauren Conrad] is the girl you just can't hate and end up feeling sorry for most of the time. Even though she's spoiled rotten, she's sweet, innocent, and a seemingly good person.

HOWEVER, she made a MAJOR faux-pas on the season finale last night. Faced with the decision between an internship for Vogue in Paris or spending the summer in Malibu with her HORRIBLE boyfriend, she chose the BF. NEVER EVER SHOULD YOU JEOPARDIZE YOUR FUTURE FOR A LOSER LIKE JASON. [can you tell I hate him?] Granted, a summer in a beach house in Malibu sounds pretty stellar, however I have a hard time believing LC stayed in North America for the scenery when grew up in a multi-million dollar mansion overlooking the ocean. noNoNO it's the boy. I think the producers of the show [even though it was staged] should have had her watch her loverboy on TV and then she would have seen what we all see every episode: Jason is an immature loser, who can't carry on a conversation and needs to shave. She's way too good for her and the fact that she turned down PARIS for him is beyond me.

I would have even been okay if she was like, Jason you want to come to Paris? I could have handled it and lived with the hope that maybe she'd find a hotter Parisian boy and then dump his ass. . . but turning it down. . . For fake-love?!?! nooooooooo. There is always a happy medium in a relationship and LC just gives way too much of herself for someone who doesn't give it back. And that is why LC is no longer my best friend.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The only Concert Where a Fast Clap is Appropriate

If you ask Andrew what I hate most about concerts, it will most definitely be without hesitation "The Fast Clap." I despise it. For some reason people who have no sense of rhythm, beat, or a brain always start a fast clap at an inappropriate time and like sheep the rest of the stadium/venue/whatever follows. Prime Example: I saw Pearl Jam a couple of months ago and people started fast clapping to "Last Kiss." This is wrong for a couple of reasons, one being that the song is SLOW and second being he is singing about how his girlfriend died in his arms. I know he didn't write the song or anything, but can we have a little respect for the person who did??? Just because you know the chorus to a song does not warrant you permission to start banging your hands away in an excited manner.

However, I saw the Dixie Chicks last night and I participated in "the fast clap." I won't say this is a first for me, but it's probably the first in such a large venue. I was so caught up in their energy and charisma [and appropriately upbeat songs] that my hands took on a life of their own and started clapping. fast. and it felt good. Actually, that's a lie. I clapped so much that my hands hurt. But either way, it was fun.

Some Highlights:
-A person with undeterminable sex in blue tie-dye shirt with white hat standing up in between songs yelling "I love Natalie" at the top of his/her longs
-Same androgynous person in blue tie-dye shirt yelling at us to sit down during a song [while shaking said white hat to get our attention].
-Hillary and Toni almost getting in a fight with MSG employee because unidentifiable woman/man complained. MSG employee said you can stand up when it starts happening. Hillary's response: Oh, it's happening.
-Guy with sign that said "I'm gay but I dig Chicks" [adorable]
-Natalie giving a shout out to Mel Gibson. Nough said.
-While departing, deciding that unidentifiable woman/man was indeed a woman, even though we were sure he was a man.
-Running to the Hotel Pennsylvania to empty our bladders after the concert. Being bombarded by drunk 17 year olds from New Jersey complaining about an $11 pizza the size of their hand. Welcome to NYC.
-Not being able to find a cab in 90 degree weather at 11 at night. Awesome.
-Guy completely decked out in Camo overhearing us talking about finding boyfriends for Hillary/Toni looking over at me with a HUGE grin as if I was going to suggest he was a prime candidate.
-Coming home to see Russell Crow and Denzel Washington filming 'American Gangster' in front of my house! weeeeee

Overall, Great night girlies!