So a group of friends and I were pre-drinking Saturday night and began to head to dinner around 9:00, having decided we had consumed enough alcohol. Andrew, on the other hand, hadn't quite had his fill yet and riskily attempted to walk down the street with a red-stripe in tow [stealthily concealed by a brown bag]. I gave him my usual "What the hell are you doing look?" [it's basically plastered to my face when I'm around him . .and I'm around him A LOT] and he replied "I'm SO going to get an open container ticket."
Fast Forward 10 minutes to us walking down the street. Andrew downs his beer in a mere 5 blocks and like any decent environmentally-friendly Canadian, plops the beer IN THE GARBAGE CAN. Note: He didn't put it on the ground, smash it against a wall, or throw it at a passing-by biker. He.Put.It.In.The.Garbage. Next thing you know, we hear the stringent yell of a less than intelligent man to our right, in a beat up cadillac. "Hey Dude, you going out tonight?" Andrew turns to me with a questioningly look while I proceed to disregard the harassment and continue walking [it's Williamsburg, there are lots of crazies so this is pretty much a daily occurence.] Next there's a loud noise that barely resembles a siren and the same guy is trailing us saying "DUDE, get over here." Last time I checked, Andrew doesn't answer to 'dude.' Idiot, dork, loser, nerd MAYBE. but not Dude. Andrew finally walks cautiously to the car, as I was invisioning the wierd man taking out a gun and shooting it in his face [I'm such an optimist].
The conversation goes something like this:
"Policeman in car": What did you throw out in the garbage?
Andrew [or 'Dude']: A beer
Policeman: You're stupid for telling me that because I had no idea what was in there, I'm going to give you a ticket.
Andrew [a bit drunk at this point]: Are you a REAL policeman? [or one of those fake ones]
Policeman: Dude, I'm really going to write you a ticket. This is not a joke.
Andrew: No seriously, what is going on here?
You get the point. . .It was a very bizarre experience. Who gets an open container ticket, especially in New York? Last time I checked there were probably hundreds of people getting murdered, doing drugs [and real drugs, not weed], breaking into houses, gangs beating up on people, I don't know what else. . .a dog without a leash in central park? This seems like something that would happen in back woods Vermont [haha Shannon] where the police actually have nothing to do. But see in NYC we have a lot of crazy people that do crazy things so the police are actually very busy [hello, have you ever seen Law & Order? And now there's like 3 different shows, the original, criminal intent, SVU. . .complete proof that NYPD has much more important things to take care of other than a silly open container ticket]. Oh and not to mention those people call 'terrorists,' don't mind them!
And the best part was, the ticket is $25. What is the point of a $25 ticket? It probably doesn't even cover the administrative fees, not to mention the cop's time. Ah well, I feel like Andrew probably learned his lesson and I had something to blog about other than what I ate for lunch today. Which, by the way, was a chinese soup bowl from Master Yap and it was nothing short of delicious.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Studio 60: "I think we have Weiner" ~Andrew
Andrew and I watched the premiere episode of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip last night. Boasting the longest name on TV and the most talk value on the web, I must say I was skeptical. NBC is spending something crazy like $3MM an episode on the 60 minute drama. In actuality, that's what got me to watch it--Someone at NBC has their career riding on the success of this show and I either wanted to see what a decent $3MM show looks like or watch it go down in flames.
And I commend NBC for doing something a bit different [it's not drastically different, but I'll give it a teensy step in the right direction]. First off, they make fun of themselves. It's about TV executives running SNL [or in TV Land it's Studio 60] and they make a lot of cracks about how TV execs can't be trusted, are just doing it for the money blah blah [we could go on and on about the stupidity in TV--I'm a bit biased since 3 of my favorite shows got cancelled last year]. They start the show with one TV executive "hijacking" Studio 60 because a skit that's controversial gets cut. He goes on to say that TV has lobotimized America and that we can't think for ourselves, nothing's cutting edge, etc. The main character [Jordan--played by Amanda Peet] in the midst of everyone freaking out basically says he was right and that they shouldn't start a campaign disagreeing with him. She's a real "mover and shaker" as my mother would say.
*Spoiler Alert* [It's not that big of a spoiler though. . .] And by the way, the name of the skit that cut and sets off this guy's crazy tirade? Crazy Christians. And it seems like they may air it, which depending on the skit, is in itself "cutting edge." [P.S. NBC--if you need some real life "Crazy Christians" to model in your skit please visit Brentwood, TN. We have quite a few.]
As for the characters, none were particularly likeable or memorable--but it was only one episode. Amanda Peet's okay [but I'm a big Peet fan ever since Jack & Jill--I think I'm the only person that watched the show, however.] The blond girl who plays Hariett Hays was also on J&J, she's okay but her lisp is kind of annoying. Matthew Perry was mildly funny [he was on vicadin after back surgery. . .] and the guy from the west wing was pretty much playing the guy from the west wing. Except he does cocaine [would the president approve?]
Either way, I'll be tuning in next Tuesday.
And I commend NBC for doing something a bit different [it's not drastically different, but I'll give it a teensy step in the right direction]. First off, they make fun of themselves. It's about TV executives running SNL [or in TV Land it's Studio 60] and they make a lot of cracks about how TV execs can't be trusted, are just doing it for the money blah blah [we could go on and on about the stupidity in TV--I'm a bit biased since 3 of my favorite shows got cancelled last year]. They start the show with one TV executive "hijacking" Studio 60 because a skit that's controversial gets cut. He goes on to say that TV has lobotimized America and that we can't think for ourselves, nothing's cutting edge, etc. The main character [Jordan--played by Amanda Peet] in the midst of everyone freaking out basically says he was right and that they shouldn't start a campaign disagreeing with him. She's a real "mover and shaker" as my mother would say.
*Spoiler Alert* [It's not that big of a spoiler though. . .] And by the way, the name of the skit that cut and sets off this guy's crazy tirade? Crazy Christians. And it seems like they may air it, which depending on the skit, is in itself "cutting edge." [P.S. NBC--if you need some real life "Crazy Christians" to model in your skit please visit Brentwood, TN. We have quite a few.]
As for the characters, none were particularly likeable or memorable--but it was only one episode. Amanda Peet's okay [but I'm a big Peet fan ever since Jack & Jill--I think I'm the only person that watched the show, however.] The blond girl who plays Hariett Hays was also on J&J, she's okay but her lisp is kind of annoying. Matthew Perry was mildly funny [he was on vicadin after back surgery. . .] and the guy from the west wing was pretty much playing the guy from the west wing. Except he does cocaine [would the president approve?]
Either way, I'll be tuning in next Tuesday.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Beer Ad: Sexist or am I oversensitive?
Peroni, an italian beer, is currently running an ad in Italy that has a woman in a horse and carriage trying to parallel park. Then it flashes forward 100 years and it has another woman trying to parallel park, with men laughing at her while drinking Peroni with the tagline like some things never change, drink Peroni. [for a better description go here ]A group of women lawyers in Italy are outraged by this ad calling it discriminatory and are suing the company. One blogger on adfreak.com said in so many words that this was a big exaggeration and that if these women saw any American beer ads, the ads would have never aired. I don't agree with this statement. American beer ads may objectify women, may show them half naked, but I feel like they never make women feel stupid or discriminatory. [maybe this is just me?]
This ad peeves me for two reasons:
-It is a sweeping statement that women can't parallel park, are bad drivers and are technically "stupid." If it was making fun of one woman and not stereotyping women, that would be more okay with me.
-Having men making fun of her is not appropriate. If they had two guys and a girl making fun of her that would be different.
I think the premise is kind of funny [someone trying to parallel park a carriage? that's unique] but the execution is lacking.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Cafe Habana: All I have to say is OMG
So there's a new book that Andrew is getting me called: No One Cares What you had for Lunch: 100 Ideas for your blog [See: http://mightygirl.com/shop]. However, what I had for lunch yesterday was very, very good and I feel like you should care. And since I don't have the book yet, I am going to take advantage of my ignorance and tell you what I ate yesterday.
First off, let me set the scene: My friend Meagan is in town from San Francisco. She is here on business and has an alotted amount of money to spend on food per day. Macy*s is not known for their generosity and has given her $45 per day in NYC to spend on 3 meals [and Meagan IS known for her eating, so this is a bit of a challenge]. However, I'll have you know that yesterday Meagan and I both ate 3 meals [more like 4 little meals. . .] for around 52 bucks [7 over our budget, but we could handle it. . .]
Our eating day included:
1. Brunch @ DoJo in SoHo [I like initials. . .] She had challah french toast, I had eggs, home fries, bacon and toast + iced tea. Total: $12 with tip.
2. Late Lunch Snack. . . This was quite the disappointment and put us back a whole $8 so I'm not even really counting it [soup bowl @ japanese sunshine market] $8. Only ate half of it so we'll say $4.
3. Another Late Lunch Snack . . . Cafe Habana Mexican Style Corn on the Cob. This is the inspiration for this blog entry. It's delicious grilled corn on the cob, with Mexican Cheese, cayenne pepper and you sprinkle lime on top. SO GOOD! $2 Thanks Vicki for the rec!
4. We're bored, let's drink! . . .Cafe zoccolo [or something. . .] for 2 glasses of wine, bread with olive oil. $20
5. We're not that hungry, but have money left so let's eat! . . . Mini Thai Cafe--had pad thai and some apps for $18.
So on food we spent $40 and had wine for another $20. In total [not counting the mistake of a soup bowl] the whole day was $52 for two of us. And we ate food from 5 different countries and we're completely full! Well done us [and thank you Macy*s!]
First off, let me set the scene: My friend Meagan is in town from San Francisco. She is here on business and has an alotted amount of money to spend on food per day. Macy*s is not known for their generosity and has given her $45 per day in NYC to spend on 3 meals [and Meagan IS known for her eating, so this is a bit of a challenge]. However, I'll have you know that yesterday Meagan and I both ate 3 meals [more like 4 little meals. . .] for around 52 bucks [7 over our budget, but we could handle it. . .]
Our eating day included:
1. Brunch @ DoJo in SoHo [I like initials. . .] She had challah french toast, I had eggs, home fries, bacon and toast + iced tea. Total: $12 with tip.
2. Late Lunch Snack. . . This was quite the disappointment and put us back a whole $8 so I'm not even really counting it [soup bowl @ japanese sunshine market] $8. Only ate half of it so we'll say $4.
3. Another Late Lunch Snack . . . Cafe Habana Mexican Style Corn on the Cob. This is the inspiration for this blog entry. It's delicious grilled corn on the cob, with Mexican Cheese, cayenne pepper and you sprinkle lime on top. SO GOOD! $2 Thanks Vicki for the rec!
4. We're bored, let's drink! . . .Cafe zoccolo [or something. . .] for 2 glasses of wine, bread with olive oil. $20
5. We're not that hungry, but have money left so let's eat! . . . Mini Thai Cafe--had pad thai and some apps for $18.
So on food we spent $40 and had wine for another $20. In total [not counting the mistake of a soup bowl] the whole day was $52 for two of us. And we ate food from 5 different countries and we're completely full! Well done us [and thank you Macy*s!]
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Project Runway. . .*SPOILER ALERT*
I need to vent about Project Runway. WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULD THEY BRING BACK ANGELA AND VINCENT FOR A SECOND CHANCE????????????
Ok, I apologize for the caps. But I need you to truly understand my anger and passion for how much I hate Angela and Vincent. For those of you that don't know, Angela is a hick from a farm in Ohio who has as much fashion sense as my pinky finger [and I don't have that much fashion sense.] Vincent is a delusional grandpa who not only walks to the pace of his own drum, he beats that drum. His fashion sense is questionable at best.
So project runway brought these two has-been designers back for a second chance with the stipulation that they had to win the challenge to stay afloat. This made me feel better, as I knew there was no way in hell either of them would win. Angela, best known for her "rosettes" [yes, she does put rosettes on clothing. Does anyone have a gun?] won 1 challenge by pure luck and a lot of help from her team mates Michael and Laura who were basically holding her hands back in an effort to stop her from over-embellishing.
Vincent won a challenge as well [after being in the bottom 2 atleast 3 times or something]--the one where they had to dress each other's mothers. I think Vincent only won because he had Uli's mother who could not speak english, thus was a very easy client. Angela's mother, on the other hand, was an annoying gnome of a woman who complained about everything and did not allow Jeffrey to take any risks [hence he made the worst smock of a thing so that she basically looked like a beached whale walking down the runway]. Anywho, Vincent's win was because the judge's were so surprised he did something atleast above mediocrity.
Yeah I hate Vincent and Angela. Thanks goodness they are gone. [Maybe the producers brought them back so people like me would be passionate enough to blog about it? hmm interesting thought but I'm very very annoyed and I think bringing these negative emotions to the show is very short sighted.]
My picks for the rest of the show are as follows:
1. MICHAEL [I love him, he's the best GO MICHAEL GO!!]
2. Jeffrey [they'll say he "has a point of view" and is "fashion forward" but will be more of the same LA rocker]
3. Laura [will be sophisticated and they'll "like" it, but won't be enough to pull her the win]
4. Uli will be out because they won't want to see more print dresses that would be great in St. Tropez.
Poor Kayne. I love him, and I think he really tried on the last challenge, but didn't quite cut it. I think he'll be successful at what he does and be able to make really fun, embellished pageant dresses.
quote of the night: "I've always made beautiful music and will continue to do so. . ." ~Vincent. ummm?
Ok, I apologize for the caps. But I need you to truly understand my anger and passion for how much I hate Angela and Vincent. For those of you that don't know, Angela is a hick from a farm in Ohio who has as much fashion sense as my pinky finger [and I don't have that much fashion sense.] Vincent is a delusional grandpa who not only walks to the pace of his own drum, he beats that drum. His fashion sense is questionable at best.
So project runway brought these two has-been designers back for a second chance with the stipulation that they had to win the challenge to stay afloat. This made me feel better, as I knew there was no way in hell either of them would win. Angela, best known for her "rosettes" [yes, she does put rosettes on clothing. Does anyone have a gun?] won 1 challenge by pure luck and a lot of help from her team mates Michael and Laura who were basically holding her hands back in an effort to stop her from over-embellishing.
Vincent won a challenge as well [after being in the bottom 2 atleast 3 times or something]--the one where they had to dress each other's mothers. I think Vincent only won because he had Uli's mother who could not speak english, thus was a very easy client. Angela's mother, on the other hand, was an annoying gnome of a woman who complained about everything and did not allow Jeffrey to take any risks [hence he made the worst smock of a thing so that she basically looked like a beached whale walking down the runway]. Anywho, Vincent's win was because the judge's were so surprised he did something atleast above mediocrity.
Yeah I hate Vincent and Angela. Thanks goodness they are gone. [Maybe the producers brought them back so people like me would be passionate enough to blog about it? hmm interesting thought but I'm very very annoyed and I think bringing these negative emotions to the show is very short sighted.]
My picks for the rest of the show are as follows:
1. MICHAEL [I love him, he's the best GO MICHAEL GO!!]
2. Jeffrey [they'll say he "has a point of view" and is "fashion forward" but will be more of the same LA rocker]
3. Laura [will be sophisticated and they'll "like" it, but won't be enough to pull her the win]
4. Uli will be out because they won't want to see more print dresses that would be great in St. Tropez.
Poor Kayne. I love him, and I think he really tried on the last challenge, but didn't quite cut it. I think he'll be successful at what he does and be able to make really fun, embellished pageant dresses.
quote of the night: "I've always made beautiful music and will continue to do so. . ." ~Vincent. ummm?
Monday, September 11, 2006
Do we need MTV anymore?
The answer is no, well not for music anyways. The number of videos MTV plays has decreased drastically each year, until the only music on "Music" TV is a 30 minute snippet which focuses more on which brand of sunglasses Lindsay Lohan is wearing than the number 1 music video of the week. And ever since Paris Hilton was featured on it [soft porn much?] I don't think it even counts.
With the advent of Myspace and YouTube, bands don't need MTV to get their music out there to the masses. [Not even MTV 2. . .. ] Prime Example is OK Go! [I know you've had this example beaten over your head like a christianity to a catholic school girl, but for those readers that don't know watch: [http://youtube.com/watch?v=NINJQ5LRh-0 ] OK Go put their corky, self produced, uber unique video on youtube and their original video has nearly 1 million views to date. And as the lead singer, Damian Koulash said on the Colber Report, the free videos are a teaser for the rest of the album and their thinking seems to work.
Myspace.com is another great venue for indie bands to strut their stuff. Not only is it a free web page [and for fledgling bands this is probably impt] it's a great place for bands to showcase their music, share it with others, have people critique, find other bands they like, etc. They also can post their tour dates and invite their 'friends' to events. And it allows their fans to write on their wall and really interact with the band mates--which for any music fan is a really cool experience.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking MTV [Hello! I love Laguna and The Hills. . .] However, as a music expert their a little behind the times. They've evolved, stayed relevant and are successful so maybe they knew what they were doing all along. However, I miss music videos --so thank you OK go for finding a new venue for them.
With the advent of Myspace and YouTube, bands don't need MTV to get their music out there to the masses. [Not even MTV 2. . .. ] Prime Example is OK Go! [I know you've had this example beaten over your head like a christianity to a catholic school girl, but for those readers that don't know watch: [http://youtube.com/watch?v=NINJQ5LRh-0 ] OK Go put their corky, self produced, uber unique video on youtube and their original video has nearly 1 million views to date. And as the lead singer, Damian Koulash said on the Colber Report, the free videos are a teaser for the rest of the album and their thinking seems to work.
Myspace.com is another great venue for indie bands to strut their stuff. Not only is it a free web page [and for fledgling bands this is probably impt] it's a great place for bands to showcase their music, share it with others, have people critique, find other bands they like, etc. They also can post their tour dates and invite their 'friends' to events. And it allows their fans to write on their wall and really interact with the band mates--which for any music fan is a really cool experience.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking MTV [Hello! I love Laguna and The Hills. . .] However, as a music expert their a little behind the times. They've evolved, stayed relevant and are successful so maybe they knew what they were doing all along. However, I miss music videos --so thank you OK go for finding a new venue for them.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Wanna be an Advertising Creative?
Kayak.com Trip Idea #406 - Lubbock, TX
So Kayak.com is having a contest for people to create an ad for them staying within their ad agencies theme of "there are a million reasons to travel. . ." The ones that ad agency did are actually pretty funny [http://corp.kayak.com/tv/] and I went through a couple of the submissions on youtube [like the one posted here]. Most are forgettable, but a couple are gems. If you win you get a free trip to NYC [I should try for it!! waaiiiitttt] to watch your ad being made.
I like that kayak.com said "Our goal is not to offend or push any agenda: just to catch your attention and make you laugh." That really follows in google's footsteps of "Don't be evil" and just go with the flow. I also think it's a very liberal approach to advertising and I appreciate that. Getting bogged down in legalities can sometimes hinder creativity. Some of them are pretty racey, like making fun of Dick Cheney's hunting accident, but they make fun of Kerry as well so it's pretty much the South Park philosophy of we'll offend everyone equally to it's okay.
Chevrolet tried this same idea a while ago with their 2007 Tahoe launch asking people to create ads as well. This completely backfired with people touching on how the Tahoe is a gaz guzzling, environmental hurting piece of machinery. [See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXehk1H2q5c ] Any PR is good PR right? Maybe not in this case.
Consumer generated media is causing quite the buzz in the marketing environment these days, with viral videos swirling around the web such as the one with Diet Coke and Mentos [http://www.eepybird.com/]. Diet Coke and Mentos reacted to this video in completely opposite ways--Mentos thought it was a godsend and completely supported these guys while Diet Coke blatantly ignored it. The thing with CGM is that it's fast and you have to react quickly and risk taking is a must. Unfortunately for Diet Coke, they probably lack the ability and the forsight to take advantage of something like this. However, they were in the works of launching their own viral video sight called the Coke Show [cocacola.com]. Imagine how much traffic they could have gottenif they put the Diet Coke Mentos video on their site?? Basically, the coke show is a pretty lame attempt to create passion about this brand. I think it's just unbelievable that Coke from corporate America would sign on to something like this. Coke is not cutting edge so I have a hard time seeing the fit with viral videos. Also, I find it a very unfascinating product that produces very little passion [atleast in me. . .]. Kayak.com is kind of corky and cool [indie perhaps?] and I can see how people could be passionate about making and ad for them. Plus kayak.com put some constraints around the ads, without constricting creative freedom. Letting people loose to do whatever they want is not only risky, but can probably lead to a lot of crap. [maybe I'm wrong and either way can lead to a lot of crap??]
The marketing environment in the future is definitely going to be interesting and hopefully big corporations can keep the pace. I guess we'll see.
So Kayak.com is having a contest for people to create an ad for them staying within their ad agencies theme of "there are a million reasons to travel. . ." The ones that ad agency did are actually pretty funny [http://corp.kayak.com/tv/] and I went through a couple of the submissions on youtube [like the one posted here]. Most are forgettable, but a couple are gems. If you win you get a free trip to NYC [I should try for it!! waaiiiitttt] to watch your ad being made.
I like that kayak.com said "Our goal is not to offend or push any agenda: just to catch your attention and make you laugh." That really follows in google's footsteps of "Don't be evil" and just go with the flow. I also think it's a very liberal approach to advertising and I appreciate that. Getting bogged down in legalities can sometimes hinder creativity. Some of them are pretty racey, like making fun of Dick Cheney's hunting accident, but they make fun of Kerry as well so it's pretty much the South Park philosophy of we'll offend everyone equally to it's okay.
Chevrolet tried this same idea a while ago with their 2007 Tahoe launch asking people to create ads as well. This completely backfired with people touching on how the Tahoe is a gaz guzzling, environmental hurting piece of machinery. [See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXehk1H2q5c ] Any PR is good PR right? Maybe not in this case.
Consumer generated media is causing quite the buzz in the marketing environment these days, with viral videos swirling around the web such as the one with Diet Coke and Mentos [http://www.eepybird.com/]. Diet Coke and Mentos reacted to this video in completely opposite ways--Mentos thought it was a godsend and completely supported these guys while Diet Coke blatantly ignored it. The thing with CGM is that it's fast and you have to react quickly and risk taking is a must. Unfortunately for Diet Coke, they probably lack the ability and the forsight to take advantage of something like this. However, they were in the works of launching their own viral video sight called the Coke Show [cocacola.com]. Imagine how much traffic they could have gottenif they put the Diet Coke Mentos video on their site?? Basically, the coke show is a pretty lame attempt to create passion about this brand. I think it's just unbelievable that Coke from corporate America would sign on to something like this. Coke is not cutting edge so I have a hard time seeing the fit with viral videos. Also, I find it a very unfascinating product that produces very little passion [atleast in me. . .]. Kayak.com is kind of corky and cool [indie perhaps?] and I can see how people could be passionate about making and ad for them. Plus kayak.com put some constraints around the ads, without constricting creative freedom. Letting people loose to do whatever they want is not only risky, but can probably lead to a lot of crap. [maybe I'm wrong and either way can lead to a lot of crap??]
The marketing environment in the future is definitely going to be interesting and hopefully big corporations can keep the pace. I guess we'll see.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Overheard in NYC?
For those of you that don't know, http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/ is a hilarious website where people post conversations they over hear in public places in New York City. One of my biggest fears in life is to one day be reading this website and read something I said stupid in public [you're right, I would never say something stupid!!] Here are some excerpts:
6-Year-Old girl, holding onto pole and craning neck backwards: I did this once, and my head came off and they had to put a new one on.Younger brother: That made you dumb. I want ice cream.
--Uptown 1 train
Hobo: Everybody's somebody on my dick
--Union Square
Man to girlfriend: Shit, I like that Martha Stewart. She a gangsta in disguise.
--Kmart, Astor Place
Confused shiksa: I don't know, he was either Jewish or Polish or something...He had on that little beanie, you know?
~Central Park
Man: Well, at least we don't have to walk very far to work. I feel sorry for all the people like nurses who still have to work and have to get up like 4 hours earlier.Woman: I just hope the Korean lady makes it to the salon. It's moustache day.Man: Moustache day?Woman: Yeah, the day my moustache gets waxed. Very important.
~Madison Square Park
Conductor: We are currently being held in the station because of some other A train fucking us all over.
--Uptown A train
Conductor: Hello, and welcome to the mobile sauna bath.
--A train
Guy #1: Dude. Don't hold my hand; that is so gay.Guy #2: Ok, so I can suck your dick, but not hold your hand?
--Outside Down The Hatch, 4th St & 6th Ave
Starbucks Employee: Ma'am can I help you?
Woman: I'd like a half a dozen chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them in 1, 2, 3. . .
Woman to Friend: Is she serious???
Friend: She'll take 6.
[I personally think this is a conversation me and greg would have at Starbucks. . cookiiess yumm]
6-Year-Old girl, holding onto pole and craning neck backwards: I did this once, and my head came off and they had to put a new one on.Younger brother: That made you dumb. I want ice cream.
--Uptown 1 train
Hobo: Everybody's somebody on my dick
--Union Square
Man to girlfriend: Shit, I like that Martha Stewart. She a gangsta in disguise.
--Kmart, Astor Place
Confused shiksa: I don't know, he was either Jewish or Polish or something...He had on that little beanie, you know?
~Central Park
Man: Well, at least we don't have to walk very far to work. I feel sorry for all the people like nurses who still have to work and have to get up like 4 hours earlier.Woman: I just hope the Korean lady makes it to the salon. It's moustache day.Man: Moustache day?Woman: Yeah, the day my moustache gets waxed. Very important.
~Madison Square Park
Conductor: We are currently being held in the station because of some other A train fucking us all over.
--Uptown A train
Conductor: Hello, and welcome to the mobile sauna bath.
--A train
Guy #1: Dude. Don't hold my hand; that is so gay.Guy #2: Ok, so I can suck your dick, but not hold your hand?
--Outside Down The Hatch, 4th St & 6th Ave
Starbucks Employee: Ma'am can I help you?
Woman: I'd like a half a dozen chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them in 1, 2, 3. . .
Woman to Friend: Is she serious???
Friend: She'll take 6.
[I personally think this is a conversation me and greg would have at Starbucks. . cookiiess yumm]
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Nashvegas, Kanye, and Wofford OH MY!
So my last week has been CRAZY hectic--I'm now back in NYC, exhausted but happy to be home.
Let's do a quick day by day of my last week:
Monday--Mom and brother came to town [if you know me at all you know that I'm not best friends with my mother, so this was obviously stressful]. Really good to see the Bro though.
Tuesday--Got free tickets to the beautiful black man convention [aka Kanye West, John Legend, Common, and Pharrell]. This concert was off the chain. We were front row to the left of the stage and they were all such great performers that they used the entire stage so often it was like a private concert. Kanye definitely had eye sex with Charisse more than once! It was probably one of the best concerts I've ever been to, if not the number 1. Kanye was incredible, John legend's voice was like butter, Common is HOT, Pharrell is beautiful. AND IT WAS FREE. Thank you American Express.
Wednedsay-- Went to the US Open which was a great experience. I saw Sharapova and Andy Roddick [which were pretty uneventful matches since they both kicked their opponent's ass]. Plus I"ve seen Andy before. I'm not a huge fan of him--like who goes to the VMA's while you're in the middle of the US Open? Seems a little pretentious to me.
Thursday-- Drove 12 hours to Spartanburg, South Carolina to move my bro into school [YAY WOFFORD!]
Friday -- Moved my brother in, took a tour of campus. Wofford is basically a country club for 18-22 year olds. Scott is a 2 minute walk away from: tennis courts, student life center with pool/ping pong/big screen TVs/a CHIK-FIL-A [yummm], the track, the football stadium. His room is cute, a small single with very efficient use of space. GO TERRIERS!!
Saturday -- Drove 6 hours to Nashville, went to my friend's Sarah and Kyle's engagement party. Ended up partying til 4 in the morning, drunken ate White Castle right before bed. Woke up and had Taco Bell. I'm a winner.
Sunday --I had a pretty bad hangover for most of the day. Had to sit through a 2.5 hour tour of my parents new house/new development. The house is sweet and I'm very excited about it. The real estate agent brought 3 bottles of Aquafina for me in her golf cart--she could tell I looked rough. Sunday night was Jason's b-day so we went to his house and he had a keg. It was awesome to see people I haven't talked to in a while, in particular Tom Campion [tomcampion.com] and Scott Drennan [http://scottdrennan.blogspot.com/]. These kids are so fun, very witty and know how to have a good time.
Monday -- Spent most of my day cleaning out the house, getting ready for it to sell. WE HAVE SO MUCH STUFF. It was pretty sickening to me, actually. From just my room [which was pretty bare compared to the rest of the house] I through away 8 bags of shit and had 2 bags for good will. All my childhood/bedroom is now packed into 3 plastic boxes. Kind of sad. I don't know how my parents are going to move all their shit. Oh well, I won't be there!
And my flight home was pretty uneventful, coming back to a HUMONGOUS taxi line. And I hate the new travel restrictions which basically make me have to check my bag, otherwise I wouldn't' be able to wash my hair. I actually went straight to the taxi line without picking up my bags, realizing that I was missing something substantial. Once again, I'm a winner.
So that's why I haven't blogged in a while. I.need.sleep.
Let's do a quick day by day of my last week:
Monday--Mom and brother came to town [if you know me at all you know that I'm not best friends with my mother, so this was obviously stressful]. Really good to see the Bro though.
Tuesday--Got free tickets to the beautiful black man convention [aka Kanye West, John Legend, Common, and Pharrell]. This concert was off the chain. We were front row to the left of the stage and they were all such great performers that they used the entire stage so often it was like a private concert. Kanye definitely had eye sex with Charisse more than once! It was probably one of the best concerts I've ever been to, if not the number 1. Kanye was incredible, John legend's voice was like butter, Common is HOT, Pharrell is beautiful. AND IT WAS FREE. Thank you American Express.
Wednedsay-- Went to the US Open which was a great experience. I saw Sharapova and Andy Roddick [which were pretty uneventful matches since they both kicked their opponent's ass]. Plus I"ve seen Andy before. I'm not a huge fan of him--like who goes to the VMA's while you're in the middle of the US Open? Seems a little pretentious to me.
Thursday-- Drove 12 hours to Spartanburg, South Carolina to move my bro into school [YAY WOFFORD!]
Friday -- Moved my brother in, took a tour of campus. Wofford is basically a country club for 18-22 year olds. Scott is a 2 minute walk away from: tennis courts, student life center with pool/ping pong/big screen TVs/a CHIK-FIL-A [yummm], the track, the football stadium. His room is cute, a small single with very efficient use of space. GO TERRIERS!!
Saturday -- Drove 6 hours to Nashville, went to my friend's Sarah and Kyle's engagement party. Ended up partying til 4 in the morning, drunken ate White Castle right before bed. Woke up and had Taco Bell. I'm a winner.
Sunday --I had a pretty bad hangover for most of the day. Had to sit through a 2.5 hour tour of my parents new house/new development. The house is sweet and I'm very excited about it. The real estate agent brought 3 bottles of Aquafina for me in her golf cart--she could tell I looked rough. Sunday night was Jason's b-day so we went to his house and he had a keg. It was awesome to see people I haven't talked to in a while, in particular Tom Campion [tomcampion.com] and Scott Drennan [http://scottdrennan.blogspot.com/]. These kids are so fun, very witty and know how to have a good time.
Monday -- Spent most of my day cleaning out the house, getting ready for it to sell. WE HAVE SO MUCH STUFF. It was pretty sickening to me, actually. From just my room [which was pretty bare compared to the rest of the house] I through away 8 bags of shit and had 2 bags for good will. All my childhood/bedroom is now packed into 3 plastic boxes. Kind of sad. I don't know how my parents are going to move all their shit. Oh well, I won't be there!
And my flight home was pretty uneventful, coming back to a HUMONGOUS taxi line. And I hate the new travel restrictions which basically make me have to check my bag, otherwise I wouldn't' be able to wash my hair. I actually went straight to the taxi line without picking up my bags, realizing that I was missing something substantial. Once again, I'm a winner.
So that's why I haven't blogged in a while. I.need.sleep.
Friday, August 25, 2006
And another. . .
From Charisse:
"it's funny b/c it's coming from lauren. But I can't laugh at them - they're right about Justin/Timbaland, you know..."
Okay, I'm convinced. I will like Timbaland songs and if they happen to be sung by nelly furtado or JT that's AOK. but i still don't think i want them on my ipod. . ..
"it's funny b/c it's coming from lauren. But I can't laugh at them - they're right about Justin/Timbaland, you know..."
Okay, I'm convinced. I will like Timbaland songs and if they happen to be sung by nelly furtado or JT that's AOK. but i still don't think i want them on my ipod. . ..
It seems as if Andrew has a kindred spirit. . . .
From Lauren, my co-worker and EX-friend. . (j/k)
"i have to tell you...after coming to the awful conclusion that i actually really like both 'promiscuous' by nelly and 'sexyback' by justin timberlake, i think andrew may be onto something w/ the whole timbaland thing. i hate to like such mainstream and popular songs, but alas, i really do like them. "
I have this in writing people.
"i have to tell you...after coming to the awful conclusion that i actually really like both 'promiscuous' by nelly and 'sexyback' by justin timberlake, i think andrew may be onto something w/ the whole timbaland thing. i hate to like such mainstream and popular songs, but alas, i really do like them. "
I have this in writing people.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
I got Free Kanye tickets!!!!!!!!!!
wahooooo!! Shout out to Charisse who struggles with incompetent clients at American Express who pronounce Kanye, 'Kayne'. However, these lovely people [can you hear the sarcasm through your computer?] managed to give us forwarning that AmEx was giving away free Tix to a Kanye concert next tuesday!!! Nokia Theater here we come!!
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Final Farewell from Jean--My FAVORITE person
The note below was taken verbatim from an e-mail to Hillary and the other managers of the softball league. I think it gives you an idea of the kind of incompetence with which we are dealing.
HI Managers
I would like to take the time the THANK ALL of you Manager for a wonderful 2006 softball season.
I know at times itsssss beennnn tryingggg but we made it TOGETHER.
The play-off are near end. But the BEST is yet to come.. Final are next week and the week ofter. So try to come to the games and ruttttt each other onnnnnnnn.
Also fall ball will start in a few weeks. So sign up know, and let play ball.
Over the winter month I would like some of you to HELP me in developing the league. So if ANYONE would like to help. Please Contac me at (718) 544-7436 of email me.
There is a lot of work ing running a league, but with your help, we can make it better.
Thanks
Jean
HI Managers
I would like to take the time the THANK ALL of you Manager for a wonderful 2006 softball season.
I know at times itsssss beennnn tryingggg but we made it TOGETHER.
The play-off are near end. But the BEST is yet to come.. Final are next week and the week ofter. So try to come to the games and ruttttt each other onnnnnnnn.
Also fall ball will start in a few weeks. So sign up know, and let play ball.
Over the winter month I would like some of you to HELP me in developing the league. So if ANYONE would like to help. Please Contac me at (718) 544-7436 of email me.
There is a lot of work ing running a league, but with your help, we can make it better.
Thanks
Jean
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
I'm so technical [errrr geeky!]
Couple New things added to the blog:
-Technorati Search [I'm still unsure how to do the tags, but that's a project for another day]
-An RSS feed. . .Now you can subscribe to my blog!! I know you want to.
On another note, I'm going to see Talladega Nights tonight and possibly Little Miss Sunshine. I'll let you know how they are tomorrow. Until Them, Happy Blogging! :-)
-Technorati Search [I'm still unsure how to do the tags, but that's a project for another day]
-An RSS feed. . .Now you can subscribe to my blog!! I know you want to.
On another note, I'm going to see Talladega Nights tonight and possibly Little Miss Sunshine. I'll let you know how they are tomorrow. Until Them, Happy Blogging! :-)
Thursday, August 10, 2006
New York Women's Sports League Story
I got the picture below from the softball league's website:
I have no idea who the people to the left are. . .but I think it does the job of giving you an idea of what Jean looks like. . .[PS I know none of them are her, because she rolls around in an electric wheel chair. . .and then tries to lecture us on making sure we train for softball season because she doesn't want to listen to complaints that we're sore. . .there's like a million things wrong with that sentence.]
The passage [errr novel-like story] below is taken from our HORIBBLE softball league's website: www.nycsoftball.com. Under no circumstances use this website to sign up for the league [I know you want to!]. Anywho, presumably this lovely ditty was written by Jean the Genious. My comments are in smaller font in parentheses. . .as if you wont' be able tell. Enjoy.
"In 1975, Phyllis M, Ammirati Started the New York Women’s Sports League. It was the first of its kind in Manhattan that allowed women to play organized softball. At the time, it was very difficult for women to do so. [ever heard of a complex sentence????]
Throughout the development of the New York Women’s Sports League, Phyllis had the vision to see that women had a very difficult time coming out for softball, or any other sports. She gave them the guidance they needed and the respect they deserved. For many years, Phyllis had to fight the stereotype that "Women belonged in the home and not on a softball diamond". [Hasn't she ever heard of league of their own? She's not the first to fight this stereotype. . .maybe she should have just required the girls to wear skirts. . .and had Madonna play]
Her fierce determination [fierce like Tyra!] and quiet perseverance while working with the Parks Department and the community [what a winner. . .] finally gained ground against all opposed her ideals. She convinced them that women were here to stay [where were they going?] and that they would make valuable contributions to all they encountered.
Phyllis’ visions for women extended far beyond the game of softball. She saw that through softball, or any endeavor, women can develop a sense of independence and camaraderie among themselves, family members, friends, employers and even with the fans who just come to the game to root for the underdog. [That sentence was a little too complex. . .]It has become a chance for everyone to change for the better, a chance for people to grow and struggle with his or her dreams and attain new levels of awareness. [And did you know that softball can save the world???? Next Stop: the Middle East]
It was not all fun and games. When Phyllis obtained use of Coleman Oval in 1980, there was much hard work to be done. The field was in disrepair, so she banded the women together and started a ground crew to develop and maintain the field. She gave notice to the teams that they must clean up after themselves [You give that notice!!!]. She told everyone to " Leave the field in better condition than you fine it, [no need for a comment there. . .] so the next player on the field will see our example and do the same". On February 4, 1991, Phyllis’ sudden death was a shock to us all [Moment of Silence, please. . .]. Due to her strong leadership and gentle guidance, the league has grown and prospered through the years. Today her beliefs and strong ideals still hold true. Phyllis’ work goes on because of the solid foundation upon which she built the league, and us, the players and managers in the league." [Thank God for Phyllis, without her we wouldn't have had such a wonderful Softball Season . .waaaiiiittttt]
I have no idea who the people to the left are. . .but I think it does the job of giving you an idea of what Jean looks like. . .[PS I know none of them are her, because she rolls around in an electric wheel chair. . .and then tries to lecture us on making sure we train for softball season because she doesn't want to listen to complaints that we're sore. . .there's like a million things wrong with that sentence.]The passage [errr novel-like story] below is taken from our HORIBBLE softball league's website: www.nycsoftball.com. Under no circumstances use this website to sign up for the league [I know you want to!]. Anywho, presumably this lovely ditty was written by Jean the Genious. My comments are in smaller font in parentheses. . .as if you wont' be able tell. Enjoy.
"In 1975, Phyllis M, Ammirati Started the New York Women’s Sports League. It was the first of its kind in Manhattan that allowed women to play organized softball. At the time, it was very difficult for women to do so. [ever heard of a complex sentence????]
Throughout the development of the New York Women’s Sports League, Phyllis had the vision to see that women had a very difficult time coming out for softball, or any other sports. She gave them the guidance they needed and the respect they deserved. For many years, Phyllis had to fight the stereotype that "Women belonged in the home and not on a softball diamond". [Hasn't she ever heard of league of their own? She's not the first to fight this stereotype. . .maybe she should have just required the girls to wear skirts. . .and had Madonna play]
Her fierce determination [fierce like Tyra!] and quiet perseverance while working with the Parks Department and the community [what a winner. . .] finally gained ground against all opposed her ideals. She convinced them that women were here to stay [where were they going?] and that they would make valuable contributions to all they encountered.
Phyllis’ visions for women extended far beyond the game of softball. She saw that through softball, or any endeavor, women can develop a sense of independence and camaraderie among themselves, family members, friends, employers and even with the fans who just come to the game to root for the underdog. [That sentence was a little too complex. . .]It has become a chance for everyone to change for the better, a chance for people to grow and struggle with his or her dreams and attain new levels of awareness. [And did you know that softball can save the world???? Next Stop: the Middle East]
It was not all fun and games. When Phyllis obtained use of Coleman Oval in 1980, there was much hard work to be done. The field was in disrepair, so she banded the women together and started a ground crew to develop and maintain the field. She gave notice to the teams that they must clean up after themselves [You give that notice!!!]. She told everyone to " Leave the field in better condition than you fine it, [no need for a comment there. . .] so the next player on the field will see our example and do the same". On February 4, 1991, Phyllis’ sudden death was a shock to us all [Moment of Silence, please. . .]. Due to her strong leadership and gentle guidance, the league has grown and prospered through the years. Today her beliefs and strong ideals still hold true. Phyllis’ work goes on because of the solid foundation upon which she built the league, and us, the players and managers in the league." [Thank God for Phyllis, without her we wouldn't have had such a wonderful Softball Season . .waaaiiiittttt]
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Millward Brown Loses by Out-scoring the opponent 25-8!!
I must have jinxed my team. . . The e-mail below is from our team manager who has the unfortunate job having to converse with Jean. I think it's self-explantory and this is proof how Jean has an IQ of a baby's pinky finger.
Dearest Happy Hour,
Lindsay is going to have to revise her blog because contrary to popular belief, we did not win last night's game. While there may have been two teams, an ump, and half a field, Jean just called to inform me that because we had three forfeits during the season, we are kicked out of the league. Therefore, although she failed to mention this to either team or the umpire, last night's game never should have happened and we lose. Because Jean is a lover and not a fighter, she wanted to make it up to us by scheduling a double-header scrimmage on Saturday, but by that point, there was some yelling going on on my end (Toni can attest to this) and Jean and I parted ways forever on less than favorable terms. I would like to thank all of you for your enthusiastic participation in the worst softball league in the world, and I would also like to congratulate you for going out in style. Anyone can lose, but it losing a game while scoring 24 runs to the other team's 8 takes true talent that I think speaks to us both as a team and a company.
Sincerely,
Hillary
P.S. Please direct all complaints to Jean at 718.544.7436. I encourage you to use this number not just for softball issues. If you want to talk about suppressed childhood memories, call this number. If you're into missionary work, call this number. If you meet someone at a bar and they ask for your number, use this one. If you know any telemarketers, make sure they have it. You get the point.
Dearest Happy Hour,
Lindsay is going to have to revise her blog because contrary to popular belief, we did not win last night's game. While there may have been two teams, an ump, and half a field, Jean just called to inform me that because we had three forfeits during the season, we are kicked out of the league. Therefore, although she failed to mention this to either team or the umpire, last night's game never should have happened and we lose. Because Jean is a lover and not a fighter, she wanted to make it up to us by scheduling a double-header scrimmage on Saturday, but by that point, there was some yelling going on on my end (Toni can attest to this) and Jean and I parted ways forever on less than favorable terms. I would like to thank all of you for your enthusiastic participation in the worst softball league in the world, and I would also like to congratulate you for going out in style. Anyone can lose, but it losing a game while scoring 24 runs to the other team's 8 takes true talent that I think speaks to us both as a team and a company.
Sincerely,
Hillary
P.S. Please direct all complaints to Jean at 718.544.7436. I encourage you to use this number not just for softball issues. If you want to talk about suppressed childhood memories, call this number. If you're into missionary work, call this number. If you meet someone at a bar and they ask for your number, use this one. If you know any telemarketers, make sure they have it. You get the point.
Millward Brownies Win 25-8!!!!!!
No, that isn't the score of my company Football team--it's the score of our first SOFTBALL playoff game which we played last night.
Let's set the scene. Our team hasn't had the best of luck this year. We are in the worst corporate league in the city, hands down, which is run by a woman with the IQ of a baby just out of the womb. Consistently we rush to our game to find that we don't have a team to play, or we're 3 minutes late and have to "double forfeit" [don't ask--I didn't think it was possible either]. So, basically, we had low expectations for the game last night, but were stupidly hopeful that we'd actually get to play.
In typical MB softball league fashion, we took to the field rearing to go. However, there was no field to be had. Unlike our last 3 games, we could field a full team, we had a team to play [yay!], and an umpire to make sure we played fair in the sandbox. However, some other team was on OUR field [I don't' know why we were surprised. see: paragraph above where I mention the organizer has the IQ of fetus, who we will call without protecting her real name--Jean] With a lot of reluctance, swearing, and death-threat phone calls to Jean we ventured two fields over to a baseball diamond which looked seemingly suitable, however had no right field. And I'm not kidding. There was the dirt of the in-field, then a fence, then the east river [tasty]. But we're Millward Brownies and don't think we're going to let that stop us. No No NO obstacle was going to get in the way of us playing that game--Not lack of a field, Not lack of a right-field, Not lack of a left shoe [that was me. . .I'm awesome, thanks to Hillary for letting me borrow her shoes!].
7:00 rolled around and we were feeling the pressure to start the game, since darkness was sneaking up on us. No warm-up, we had to hit the field. The other team looked professional--the girls were wearing league-of-their-own-type skirts and have official looking softball socks [it doesn't take much to impress us]. Vicki started singing "We're the members of the All American Team. . ." hoping to pysch them out and get us going.
Let's play ball. . . I'll fast forward you through the high-lights:
-Our team had an incredible hitting streak . Everyone.hit.awesome. Key plays: Sean hitting a *Grand Slam* in the 5th inning [I just made that up, I have no idea which inning it was]. Sean hitting *Michelle* when she was on third base, a stinging line drive straight to her hip.
-Our crazy ump who wouldn't let us have an "odd number" of players. Who also took a phone call while I was up to bat, with a count of 1-0. He had blue tooth so it looked like he was talking to an imaginary player, or peeing in the other team's dug-out. I found both options amusing.
-Our ump again who, in addition to being crazy, can't add. In the 5th [??] inning we scored 7 runs. Hillary, being the math whiz she is, was talking to the ump and said "Great, we had 17, we scored 7, now we have 24 runs." Ump gives her a blank look: "No, you have 25." Hillary repeats her amazing equation [she went to college!]. Ump gives same blank look and same answer [I'm guessing he didn't got to college]. Hillary responds resisting the urge to argue reason, logic, or mathematical correctnes says "Sure, I'll take your score." So it looks like our imaginary player scored the 25th run. . .probably the same one the ump was talking to in the other team's dug-out.
Special thanks to our non-MB players who came out to save the day: Steve, Andrew, and Yuli [I think she only comes because we like to call her adorabbblllleeeeeee] And Erica, Photographer Extraordinaire.
Stay tuned for next week's game. . .We don't know when it is, we can't guarantee a field or a team, but we will definitely curse Jean and drink some beer. Because we are the Millward Brown Happy Hour.
Let's set the scene. Our team hasn't had the best of luck this year. We are in the worst corporate league in the city, hands down, which is run by a woman with the IQ of a baby just out of the womb. Consistently we rush to our game to find that we don't have a team to play, or we're 3 minutes late and have to "double forfeit" [don't ask--I didn't think it was possible either]. So, basically, we had low expectations for the game last night, but were stupidly hopeful that we'd actually get to play.
In typical MB softball league fashion, we took to the field rearing to go. However, there was no field to be had. Unlike our last 3 games, we could field a full team, we had a team to play [yay!], and an umpire to make sure we played fair in the sandbox. However, some other team was on OUR field [I don't' know why we were surprised. see: paragraph above where I mention the organizer has the IQ of fetus, who we will call without protecting her real name--Jean] With a lot of reluctance, swearing, and death-threat phone calls to Jean we ventured two fields over to a baseball diamond which looked seemingly suitable, however had no right field. And I'm not kidding. There was the dirt of the in-field, then a fence, then the east river [tasty]. But we're Millward Brownies and don't think we're going to let that stop us. No No NO obstacle was going to get in the way of us playing that game--Not lack of a field, Not lack of a right-field, Not lack of a left shoe [that was me. . .I'm awesome, thanks to Hillary for letting me borrow her shoes!].
7:00 rolled around and we were feeling the pressure to start the game, since darkness was sneaking up on us. No warm-up, we had to hit the field. The other team looked professional--the girls were wearing league-of-their-own-type skirts and have official looking softball socks [it doesn't take much to impress us]. Vicki started singing "We're the members of the All American Team. . ." hoping to pysch them out and get us going.
Let's play ball. . . I'll fast forward you through the high-lights:
-Our team had an incredible hitting streak . Everyone.hit.awesome. Key plays: Sean hitting a *Grand Slam* in the 5th inning [I just made that up, I have no idea which inning it was]. Sean hitting *Michelle* when she was on third base, a stinging line drive straight to her hip.
-Our crazy ump who wouldn't let us have an "odd number" of players. Who also took a phone call while I was up to bat, with a count of 1-0. He had blue tooth so it looked like he was talking to an imaginary player, or peeing in the other team's dug-out. I found both options amusing.
-Our ump again who, in addition to being crazy, can't add. In the 5th [??] inning we scored 7 runs. Hillary, being the math whiz she is, was talking to the ump and said "Great, we had 17, we scored 7, now we have 24 runs." Ump gives her a blank look: "No, you have 25." Hillary repeats her amazing equation [she went to college!]. Ump gives same blank look and same answer [I'm guessing he didn't got to college]. Hillary responds resisting the urge to argue reason, logic, or mathematical correctnes says "Sure, I'll take your score." So it looks like our imaginary player scored the 25th run. . .probably the same one the ump was talking to in the other team's dug-out.
Special thanks to our non-MB players who came out to save the day: Steve, Andrew, and Yuli [I think she only comes because we like to call her adorabbblllleeeeeee] And Erica, Photographer Extraordinaire.
Stay tuned for next week's game. . .We don't know when it is, we can't guarantee a field or a team, but we will definitely curse Jean and drink some beer. Because we are the Millward Brown Happy Hour.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Spelling Bee is F-U-N-N-Y
So I ventured to Broadway last night to see the 25th Annual Putnum County Spelling Bee: The musical. Overall, an extremely enjoyable show that I highly reccommend. The music is catchy, but quasi-forgettable, but the performances are HILARIOUS, with wit and high energy. As a side-note, I find it very entertaining how we [as a nation of course, because I can totally speak for the 256 million americans out there] are obsessed with making fun of the poor kids in spelling bees. If you haven't seen it yet, watch Spellbound--A brilliant documentary about kids in the spelling bee and their insane over-bearing parents [way worse than soccer moms if you ask me]. I just don't know who these kids exist.
Anywho, back to the musical. The Circle in the Square theater where the Spelling bee takes place is a really neat venue [famous alumni of the circle in the square theater school include, but are not limited to: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Molly Shannon, and Matthew Lillard --from Scream, come on you know him! "I'll be right back. . .]. The theater is small and intimate and there's not a bad seat in the house. Also, they used audience members to be in the Bee and made fun of them, which is always a plus. My co-worker Hillary's friend from high school [Josh Gad] is a main character [he plays William Barfee --prounounced Barf-AY] and he was very good [he has a Magic Foot, that dances around and helps him spell]. He actually wins the bee [sorry if I ruined the suspense for you all]. My other favorite guy is named Brett Foa and was in Avenue Q before joining the Spelling Bee cast. He's hilarious--he plays this mildly retarded boy who wears a helmet for protection and 'makes his own clothes' [he basically wears clothes one step up from a bum]. He's sooo funny and so so dynamic. I think I'm going to start the unofficial Brett Foa fan club.
I also noticed on the spelling bee website that it's in a lot of other cities like Chicago and San Fran now so if it's in a theater near you, or if you're in NYC go see it!!!
p.s. if you switch the first two vowels around in Olive it spells I Love. adorable much?
Anywho, back to the musical. The Circle in the Square theater where the Spelling bee takes place is a really neat venue [famous alumni of the circle in the square theater school include, but are not limited to: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Molly Shannon, and Matthew Lillard --from Scream, come on you know him! "I'll be right back. . .]. The theater is small and intimate and there's not a bad seat in the house. Also, they used audience members to be in the Bee and made fun of them, which is always a plus. My co-worker Hillary's friend from high school [Josh Gad] is a main character [he plays William Barfee --prounounced Barf-AY] and he was very good [he has a Magic Foot, that dances around and helps him spell]. He actually wins the bee [sorry if I ruined the suspense for you all]. My other favorite guy is named Brett Foa and was in Avenue Q before joining the Spelling Bee cast. He's hilarious--he plays this mildly retarded boy who wears a helmet for protection and 'makes his own clothes' [he basically wears clothes one step up from a bum]. He's sooo funny and so so dynamic. I think I'm going to start the unofficial Brett Foa fan club.
I also noticed on the spelling bee website that it's in a lot of other cities like Chicago and San Fran now so if it's in a theater near you, or if you're in NYC go see it!!!
p.s. if you switch the first two vowels around in Olive it spells I Love. adorable much?
Thursday, August 03, 2006
LC is no longer my best friend
For those of you who have been living under a rock for the past couple months, The Hills is a continuation of the popular Faux-reality show Laguna Beach on MTV. It follows my former best friend LC around as she juggles fashion school, a teen vogue internship, a bitch roomie, and a douche-bag boyfriend in Sunny Los Angeles [the city where they say dreams come true!]. LC [Lauren Conrad] is the girl you just can't hate and end up feeling sorry for most of the time. Even though she's spoiled rotten, she's sweet, innocent, and a seemingly good person.
HOWEVER, she made a MAJOR faux-pas on the season finale last night. Faced with the decision between an internship for Vogue in Paris or spending the summer in Malibu with her HORRIBLE boyfriend, she chose the BF. NEVER EVER SHOULD YOU JEOPARDIZE YOUR FUTURE FOR A LOSER LIKE JASON. [can you tell I hate him?] Granted, a summer in a beach house in Malibu sounds pretty stellar, however I have a hard time believing LC stayed in North America for the scenery when grew up in a multi-million dollar mansion overlooking the ocean. noNoNO it's the boy. I think the producers of the show [even though it was staged] should have had her watch her loverboy on TV and then she would have seen what we all see every episode: Jason is an immature loser, who can't carry on a conversation and needs to shave. She's way too good for her and the fact that she turned down PARIS for him is beyond me.
I would have even been okay if she was like, Jason you want to come to Paris? I could have handled it and lived with the hope that maybe she'd find a hotter Parisian boy and then dump his ass. . . but turning it down. . . For fake-love?!?! nooooooooo. There is always a happy medium in a relationship and LC just gives way too much of herself for someone who doesn't give it back. And that is why LC is no longer my best friend.
HOWEVER, she made a MAJOR faux-pas on the season finale last night. Faced with the decision between an internship for Vogue in Paris or spending the summer in Malibu with her HORRIBLE boyfriend, she chose the BF. NEVER EVER SHOULD YOU JEOPARDIZE YOUR FUTURE FOR A LOSER LIKE JASON. [can you tell I hate him?] Granted, a summer in a beach house in Malibu sounds pretty stellar, however I have a hard time believing LC stayed in North America for the scenery when grew up in a multi-million dollar mansion overlooking the ocean. noNoNO it's the boy. I think the producers of the show [even though it was staged] should have had her watch her loverboy on TV and then she would have seen what we all see every episode: Jason is an immature loser, who can't carry on a conversation and needs to shave. She's way too good for her and the fact that she turned down PARIS for him is beyond me.
I would have even been okay if she was like, Jason you want to come to Paris? I could have handled it and lived with the hope that maybe she'd find a hotter Parisian boy and then dump his ass. . . but turning it down. . . For fake-love?!?! nooooooooo. There is always a happy medium in a relationship and LC just gives way too much of herself for someone who doesn't give it back. And that is why LC is no longer my best friend.
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